A few days ago I went on Twitter to ask for ideas I could cover in blog-type format. I wanted a subject related to writing and editing, but I didn’t want to re-hash the same topics of old.

People with more experience in the industry have already covered Story Structure and The Hero’s Journey quite eloquently. Do we really need another written piece about it? Unlikely.

Fortunately, https://twitter.com/AlexandraAtman came to the rescue when she proposed I talked about fear. Fear of readers, agents, publishers—fear of the industry in general.

I’ll admit, I expected something more technical. Perhaps something related to commas or situations like “My protagonist’s dog is more interesting than my villain. How do I fix it?”

But honestly? Fear is perhaps the best topic I could tackle at this point in my life. I didn’t know it when I asked, but this is exactly what I wanted to write about.

To better understand why I’m so invested, let me speak for a minute about my own journey. These are things I used to be rather fearful of. I struggled with impostor syndrome for a long time, and just recently I feel like I’ve managed to get it under control, mainly through a healthy dose of introspection and therapy.

Let’s get the biggest thing out of the way first: English isn’t my native language. I live in a Spanish-speaking country, but I find English more entertaining and I prefer it a lot more than Spanish or any other language. This little detail was a thorn in my side since the moment I knew I wanted to write and work as an editor. It caused so much self-sabotage that you would think I hate myself as much as modern Disney hates decent writing.

I knew, even when I started almost a decade ago, that my English level was good and that I could do this. I knew it, but knowing it wasn’t enough. I always worried that my unworthy Spanish-speaking roots would shine through, and I would be exposed as the fraud I was. I was terrified of this.

My solution? To study the language to the point of tedium. One after the other, I enrolled in needless courses and read “For dummies” types of books. From basic to advanced and everything in between. I chased the carrot and felt great when a teacher told me my English was great.

But deep down I never believed them. Deep down I kept thinking I was a pretender.

Mind you, I was telling myself this even after scoring a job reviewing short stories for a literary school based in England.

Despite my efforts or achievements, the insecurity always remained.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar. Perhaps you’ve worried about your writing, the choices in your storytelling, and the quality of your blurb. You’ve obsessed over these elements, have worked with editors and beta readers, and have watched countless YouTube videos trying to perfect your craft.

But did the fear ever go away?

If your friends praised your story, did it make a difference in how you were feeling in the long run?

Did the insecurity vanish when you got a full request?

If you have published books, did a single 5-star review fix all your problems?

Chances are those things improved your mood temporarily, but after a few days all the fear and anxiety came back.

So what do we do?

When fears and anxieties take hold of a part of our lives, they usually don’t go away by positive reinforcement from outsiders. Fear is rarely remedied by the outside. Overcoming it mainly comes from the inside.

I know, I know. I’m starting to sound like a grifter selling spiritual mumbo jumbo. “Just meditate 10 hours a day, bro. You’ll be fearless. Now, subscribe to my guided meditation app for only $500 a month.”

No. It’s not like that.

It’s not about sitting on a rock with your eyes closed and expecting the universe to fix your problems. When I say the solution comes from the inside, I mean it comes from being proactive with what we’re feeling. It’s about growing comfortable in that fear. It’s about growing braver.

Stop trying to logic away the fear. You know this already. You have spent some time thinking about your emotions and how they’re affecting your life. You know where they’re coming from and you’ve analyzed the situation, top to bottom. You realized that your fear is a bit illogical and that you should keep going. You arrived at the conclusion that “I really shouldn’t be feeling this way.”

And yet, the next day things remained the same. Sound familiar?

Know this: emotions aren’t something you can outthink. They don’t work that way. People don’t lose their fear of failure from thinking about that motivational quote on Instagram, and there’s no emotional revelation to be had from a pros and cons list, not for most anyway.

Keep in mind, this isn’t some subjective opinion I developed after overcoming my own problems. This is actual science. Here is a short clip of a Harvard Psychologist, explaining how logic is often the doom of depressed people. This isn’t wacky nonsense I made up to write this blog. It’s how it actually works.

Logic and emotions don’t mix.

What helps us process emotions is accepting and engaging with them on purpose. We don’t get over sadness by thinking how illogical it is. We get over it by spending time being sad. By crying our eyes out, eating comfort food, or listening to My Chemical Romance.

Then, why do we try to get over our fear by using logic?

“If I only could write better, I would not feel this way.”

“If I could pick more fitting tropes for my stories, I would feel more confident about them.”

“If I took yet another English class, I would feel ready.”

There’s a point in time when those things are needed. They’re an essential part of the journey, for sure. But there also comes a point in which those things are needless filler, an endless rabbit hole of diminishing returns that’s doing nothing for you.

Deep down, you already know this. Those fears will not go away by learning more about parallelism or proper em-dash usage. Obsessing with such minor details, thinking they will be our magical cure…well, it’s nonsense.

The healthy way forward is to accept the fear and engage with it. Here’s another clip from the same Doctor, talking about this. The topic in that video is guilt, but it applies exactly the same to fear.

So, how do we engage with fear in a healthy way? What’s the “crying and eating ice cream” of fear?

Talk about it.

I’m serious. Talk about it. It sounds like a cookie-cutter answer, but we often get into these types of situations because we overcomplicate things to begin with. A little simplicity is a good thing.

Here’s where you must be proactive. Don’t wallow in that fear. Share it. Be open about it, if you have someone who’s willing to listen.

If you’re truly struggling and you feel like fear has hijacked a piece of your life, perhaps even consider finding a therapist. Look, it’s 2023. Enough with the mental health stigmas. You’re not crazy for needing a little guidance.

Exposure therapy.

Somewhat recently, I started to get into working out. I started to watch some videos, as one does, trying to learn what I should and shouldn’t do. Something that popped up often is that your biggest progress (Your maximum muscle growth, bro) lies in the exercises you’re afraid to do. This tracks because those are often the exercises that are harder, requiring more effort and coordination. They’re the scary exercises.

The same applies to our fear of writing, querying an agent, or publishing a new book to that scary audience of yours. It’s terrifying, but that’s where all the gains are. Expose yourself to it.

Keep in mind, it’s not a do-or-die or a trial-by-fire situation. It’s an exercise. You won’t die if things don’t go the way you expect them—you can always adjust and try again. Remember, we’re often conditioned to think in terms of success and failure, but there’s no such thing. There is no failure. There are only attempts. Attempt #1 might not go my way, but that’s why Attempt #2 exists.

Keep an open mind and avoid black-and-white thinking.

That’s not to say that you should throw yourself at the most nigh-impossible challenge you can find. Act responsibly. Not even the most unhinged musclehead started his career by lifting 300 pounds over his head. You start by lifting an empty bar and you add weight as you grow stronger. Progressive overload—you can apply it to your writing life.

Afraid of the querying process? Then don’t make it a process. Query just one agent, wait for their reply, adjust accordingly, and go onto Attempt #2 . . . or maybe get a representation offer right away, making all that fear look silly in retrospect.

Afraid of your readers? Then don’t make it readerS, plural. Share your writing with one person, wait for the feedback, adjust accordingly, and then show it to someone else. Show it to more and more people as you grow comfortable.

Be patient. Take one step at a time, but make sure you’re progressing. Even adding one pound to the bar is considered progress.

Get familiar and comfortable with the ugly side.

I left this one for last because it’s easily the ugliest one. Look, there are going to be shit days. Plain and simple.

Yes, there’s going to be an agent who will ghost you or will send a generic rejection after 10 months. Yes, there’s going to be someone who’s not going to finish your book. Yes, there’s going to be someone who will leave you an incredibly hurtful review.

. . . so?

Know this: freedom from fear doesn’t lie in trying to avoid those situations. Freedom of fear lies in experiencing them. Think of something you were afraid to do as a child but can do now without issue. We all have at least one thing. Swimming? Riding a bike? Cooking (I was afraid of the fire, myself)?

Are you able to do those things now because you stopped being afraid? Or did you stop being afraid because you started doing them?

Exactly.

The next thing I’m going to say could be rather frightening or it could be, in a way, liberating. I wholeheartedly encourage you to take it as the latter and try to see this from a positive perspective, because it can be powerful if you do.

Here it is: those bad situations I mentioned before? Those things you fear? They’re actually inevitable. Rest assured, those situations will find you no matter what. If your dream is to be a professional cyclist, you’re going to crash your bike at some point. Life happens no matter what, and life will take its toll.

Similarly, we can’t expect to dream about being in the industry without seeing the ugly side at some point. Everyone will get queries rejected, and even your most beloved author gets hate messages telling them they should go back to school and learn how to write.

The solution is to go out there and find those situations before they find you, so that when you find them in the future they don’t hurt you (or hurt you considerably less). Go out and find those situations. Tackle them on your own terms, when you’re ready to take the blows. Fail and move on to the next attempt. Develop a thick skin, and I promise you, next time a Twitter troll calls you a fraud, it won’t ruin your self-esteem. It will be just another Tuesday.

If you read all this way, thank you so much for your time. I sincerely hope you can get something worthwhile out of this. It was therapeutic for me to write it.

Also, I must apologize. I’ve been lying about something. There’s actually a way to avoid facing all those fears without being proactive and exposing yourself to all of them. There’s a way you can skip the hurtful comments and the pressure of the writing community.

That way is quitting.

But is that really what you want to do? Can you look in the mirror and genuinely say that you want to leave it all behind for good?

I’m not trying to guilt-trip you into an answer. This is an honest question. For some people, quitting might actually be a valid decision, but it’s up to each of us to figure that out individually.

When you go find your answer, make sure you’re honest with yourself. Make sure that you’re not escaping fear in the present just to fall into regret in the future. Remember, life will take its toll.

But in the end, that toll doesn’t have to be your peace of mind. In the end, the toll can be as small as a couple of rejections, a few bad reviews, and a Twitter troll that you can handle with a block and a brief “fuck off.”

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Did you find the post useful? Let me know on Twitter! or through my Contact Page Because I’m apparently too stupid to figure out how to enable comments on this website. Fun times.

Also, if you’re interested in learning more about these types of subjects, I encourage you to follow the Doctor from the clips and check out his Youtube channel. It has helped me tremendously these past couple of years. Here’s a longer video related to the same topic, in case you need a place to start.

Have a beautiful day!